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Paragon of Hoaxes! |
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Paragon of Hoaxes!
But, I Read It On The Internet!
(aka The Paragon of Hoaxes)
I was on my way to the post office
to pick up my case of
freesent to me because I forwarded their e-mail
to five other people, (celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is
"MM" in Roman numerals) when I ran into a friend whose neighbor,
a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat
in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken - which is predictable, since as
everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken,
which is why the government made them change their name to
Anyway, one day this friend went to sleep
and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of
ice
and he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized thatHIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN!
He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!"
but he was afraid to use his phone
because it was connected to his computer,
and there was a viruson his computer that would
destroy his hard drive
and infect all theelectronics in his house
if he opened an
He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer
programmer
who was working on software to prevent aglobal disaster
in which all the computers get together
and distribute the $250.00
recipe
under the leadership of Bill Gates.
(It's true - I read it all last week in a mass
BILL GATES
HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free
vacation
and$5,000 if I would forward the
everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911from a
pay phone
to report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the
line first asked him to press
which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line
at the guy's expense.
Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an
HIV-infected needlewhich was
wrapped around a note that said,
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital
the one where that little boy
who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone
in the
world to send him an
Society has agreed to pay him a nickel
for every
one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel
(if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people,
you will havebut for 10 people you will only
have OK luck
and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have
So anyway, the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital,
but on the way he noticed another car driving without its
lights on.
To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him
and was promptly shot
as part of a gang initiation.
Send THIS to all the friends who send you their
junk mail
and you will receive 4 green
but if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble
will report you to his Satanist friends
and you will have more bad luck:
you will get cancer from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate
in your shampoo,
and the U.S. government will put a tax
on your e-mails forever.
I know this is all true 'cause I read it
on the Internet !
Background music: I Heard It On The Grapevine
Thanks for dropping by!
Thank Heaven for the following truth sites: